I know you all have been seeing me refer to 5 years and have been questioning what this means. I hope this blog will explain this to you.
I have made all my decisions now on when I die, and am in the process of getting it all official. Trying my best to have all in order and paid for before I croak. Even if I live another 40 years it will be a load off my mind to know it is all paid for, planned out and a trustworthy person that I know will carry out my wishes, no matter what.
You are never too young to think about your final plans. Don't leave unnecessary expenses for family. Don't leave what little you have to the government. If you do not wish to leave what you have to family consider willing everything to a homeless shelter or program, a domestic violence facility or juvenile facility.
Donating to places like GOODWILL and The Salvation Army USA helps no one. They do not give needed clothing and items to people in need. They sell everything they get in donations. They do hire handicapped people, but that in itself is minimal as now they do most of their hiring for non-disabled people.
Always go to independent shelters and donate locally, that way you know what you give gets used as per your wishes.
Decide early if you plan to have a DNR or if you wish to be an organ donor. These decisions are very hard to make for family when you are in a coma or have already passed away.
My will is very specific as to my wishes. This takes all the questions and strife out of the equation.
You are never too young to take this burden off your family. Don't leave them with final expenses they cannot afford and the strife of arguing between each other as to what they "think" your wishes are.
Main thing to consider is: Make sure the person you choose for your executor of your will has the balls to just do what is asked and not care what others say or think. I mean, the person dying has the final say. I haven't been always able to live how I really wanted but by god I am going to die exactly how I wish.
Be warned I am making a lot of hard decisions in my life right now. Life is just too too short to not live it how you want, with who you want, where you want.
I am done with people pleasing. It is MY time. I have spent my entire life people pleasing, doing what I thought I should to be accepted in the areas of my life I lived.
I am one of those people that either you love me completely or you hate me completely, and I am fine with that. If you don't like me or what I say, move on. No hard feelings, it's what I do.
I am done with negativity and shit.
Be real me and I will be real with you.
I am not going to pretend I am something I'm not just to make you like me.
I love my family enough to get my affairs in order to keep them from having to carry the load. Other than that any relationships I have from this point on will be honest and positive ones. I don't care if you are blood, if you can't leave the past the past and live a positive healing life today, it may be time to move on.
My doctors are telling me I have 5 good years to live my life. They are not saying I am dying in 5 years, but instead are saying if there are things you want to do in life, you need to get them done in the next 5 years. After that my health will start failing to the point I won't be able to be mobile.
I have made my decisions and plans for the next 5 years. I have about 6 months of rehab left to do. By then I plan to have a small pop-up camper bought and plan to start traveling. My goal will be to see how many states I can visit in the next five years. If I am going strong still then I plan to hit the UK and meet all my friends/family there.
I am going to enjoy my life to the fullest I can. Meet as many people as I can. And see as many places as I can.
If you want me to forgive you must be willing to forgive yourself. I can't stand people that ask me to do things they are not willing to do themselves.
A good leader will pull up their sleeve and work beside someone, not stand above them and demand.
I made a choice last year to live a life of love and forgiveness. When I finally choose to forgive, I forgive completely. I don't keep bringing it up. We all have done things we are ashamed of. We all made mistakes and poor decisions. No one is above making mistakes and hurting others.
I will be brutally honest with myself and others for this is my salvation. It's my lies to myself and others that are my worst enemy.
Yes I was not the best mother to my children. I regret that with everything within me. I cannot change the hurt and pain I caused my children.
I can choose to not dwell in that and learn from my mistakes. Relationships are give and take. Today I give all I have to each relationship I have. I have learned to deal with my anger, and the abuse I grew up with. Just because I was abused, beaten, raped and more, does not give me the right to lash out at someone else.
I have to make a conscious choice each day to hold my anger, my judgmental attitude, my hate. I have to CHOOSE love.
If I cannot say something good, something positive that will neutralize a situation, I choose to walk away. I refuse to fight for love, I choose to not gossip, or argue. Life is just too short to live in a negative way.
If you have nothing good or positive to say to me, please just choose to keep your mouth shut or walk away, because if not I will be the one to walk away.
I am NOT going to be abused, bullied or used again.
Be real with me and I will be real with you. From this point on I will only choose positive family and friends.
If you are told you only have five years to do what you want in your life, what will you choose?
Will you go out in love and peace? or go out with bitterness and anger and heart full of pain?
I'm going out happy. No Matter What.
That.Is.All.
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