Whom do you serve?

Eternal grins stretched full in bend of circled gaze

Engraved and sketched each point connects

With no lit eyes in existing phase

Nine sided effect inset a dark recess

All shadows dance and fall in place

Completing features in seeking quest

Locking in a shocking shape of face

Mocking all in sight and greeting less

Lest the laughter cease to spite and chase

Voices within each mind are blindly pressed

Echoes of none will no mouths escape

Yet whispers to some are come as guest

Sanctioned in dark accord

This council of wiser lords

Beheaded in their blasphemy

Wedded to the last to be

And in shadows joined with

A new sacrilege gift

A crown to wisest lord

Laid silent with his sword

Retribution- a tale of abuse

Heaven  is torn, and Angels rain down

Laugh and make merry as it all tumbles down

Revel and riot, in the face of your god

Deliver me up, to strike with your rod

Steal and abuse the children of hate

The vision is ours for we make our fate

Stomp on my back, and crush my spine

Forgive me father, I meant not to whine

Strip my mind and twist the stake,

Deny the fact, ask why I hate.

Consider me dead, and I'll see you burn,

Forget the fact, your mind will return...

Obscure my face, and hide the fake

Remember my body? The one that you ate.

Agony procured by the father of lies

Rip out my spirit, and gouge out my eyes.

Daylight is gone, things are all shit

Darkness has come, my will has been split

Darkness within, my soul knows true sin

Sunlight without, I know nothing about

Despoiled and wretched, defiled and regretted.

Raped and refused, fucked and abused.

Death is forthcoming, her end felt throughout

She died in my arms, love I was without

We danced and beheld, love is a wonder

We fucked and prevailed, triumph no longer...

Tragedy mistaken, my heart ripped right out

Purer agony, I know nothing about.

So fuck you master, and your cruel twisted ends

You kill all your servants, you have no more friends

Where will you go when all has been read?

What will you do when we're all finally dead?

Spurned and forgotten, I rise from the ash

To take my revenge, and kick god's white ass.

Answer not

How do I distinguish, dark voices of the dead

How can I extinguish, 13 screams inside my head

Questions fill my mind, Bullets fill my brain

The answers that I find, Just make me more insane

And when I think it's finally done, My fears are laid to rest

It seems more questions always come, Against my one request...for peace

How do I begin to tell, Darkness from no light

How could I ever spell, What evil brings my fright

Questions fill my mind, Bullets fill my brain

The answers that I find, Just make me more insane

And when I think it's cold enough, For me to finally die

The darkness serves to keep me up, And brings another lie...to me

How do I pull myself, Up out of this dark hole

How can I ever ask for help, When I know that you'll let go

Questions fill my mind, Bullets fill my brain

The answers that I find, Just make me more insane

And when I think there's someone there, I find that it's just me

And when I thought someone cared, The answer I clearly see...not one

How could you my trust betray, When we were friends before

How can I now convey, The hurt that I feel more

Questions fill my mind, Bullets fill my brain

The answers that I find, Just make me more insane

And when I think it hurts too much, You twist the knife in me

And if this is all it is for us, I think that it shouldn’t be...just me (bleeding)

How can I start to feel, Something more than hate

How will I ever fill, The hole of my dead fate

Questions fill my mind, Bullets fill my brain

The answers that I find, Just make me more insane

And when I think the anger's passed, It threatens to burn again

The pot begins to boil fast, With hatred from within...my heart

How can I fulfill my hope, To quiet the voices within

How to stop the dead awoke, Who spread disease of sin

Questions fill my mind, Bullets fill my brain

The answers that I find, Just make me more insane

And when I think the devil's dead, He comes to take me home

I'm afraid to tell of what I've read, The tale of me alone...in hell

just because.......

just because you can't hear doesn't mean they have nothing to say...


just because you don't see their tears doesn't mean they did not cry...


just because you did not see them today doesn't mean they weren't there...


just because you had something to eat does't mean they aren't hungry...


just because you put your head on your pillow in your bed doesn't mean they had a bed to sleep in...


just because you have your family and friends doesn't mean they were not lonely...


just because you have not a need does not mean they had unmet needs...


just because you think they are not worthy of your love, doesn't mean they are unable to love..


just because you think they are forever lost doesn't mean they cant find the way...


just because you think...



                                                                ...doesn't mean they are.

In times of drifting

I sometimes find I'm drifting
Through this life without effect;
I often wonder if I'm truly
Worth what I've been blessed.

I search through days that have been hard,
To try to understand,
The many trials that I have known,
The life that I have had.

You see me in my daily grind,
So confident and strong;
Yet when I am alone, I question
Just where I belong.

I often try too hard I find,
To analyze and guess,
To scrutinize, investigate
My life I will confess.

For somewhere deeper, there must be
Some meaning to this life,
Some way to make a difference,
Give a reason for this strife.

Is there some hidden meaning?
Some agenda to be found?
A greater purpose waiting
If I care to hang around?

It teases and it taunts me,
Always slightly out of sight;
A hazy vision out of reach,
Where darkness hides the light.

I struggle to bring clarity
To what awaits me there,
And yet this weak illusion
Always fades before my stare.

It seems the harder that I try,
To focus through the haze,
Just serves to add more questions,
Through my endless, tired gaze.

Perhaps I'm trying just too hard,
To understand it all,
For can we ever truly know
Just what we have in store?

Each incident, each moment passed,
Just adds upon the next,
But in the end, will I find truth ...
Or will I be perplexed?

Perhaps I make it harder
Than it has to be sometimes,
But will my searching bring to me
My meaning over time?

Or will it leave me broken,
And confused as I feel now,
While questions bring no solitude,
To this, my wrinkled brow.

Find Your Niche

You may feel as if you don't belong, that there is no place for you.

 

You may try areas meant for another.

 

The probable cause? The place for which you were born has not been created.

 

Niches rarely just appear, they are forged, carved out, created.

 

When you find/create your own niche you will always feel a part.

 

If a passion lives within your soul, burns in your heart, boldly go and create a place to which you will know you belong.

Love Is: Dedicated to Tracy K.

My love for you is powerful, wonderful and wanted, yet not within reach.

 

    Experiences have been good, ugly and portentous, yet something I crave.

 

       Forever with my heart, reverie and contrition, where I will live no more.

 

           I will love you utterly, without omission and interminably, yet for me, 

 

                   I..............will never speak of it again.

                      

                         Forever and always yours. You still have my heart.