when.............

Many times through our struggles we question things. Today is not unlike many others.

But right now I have to ask: When does your faith become denial?

I know we are to focus on the good, the positive and have faith that God will save, deliver, heal............

But in my bible it says we are to speak to God and let our requests be made known. So my quandry is this.

If I am in horrible pain (as I am today) due to an illness, am I to just deny I have anything wrong? Does that denial equate faith? Does the denial make the sickness and pain any less?

I understand we are not to dwell on the negative and our troubles. But some days we have to be able to be honest. We have to be free in our walk with God to be able to say, hey God I really don't feel well, or I really have this problem. To be able to say "Do Lord, Do touch my little need"

God could come and heal and do what we need without us asking. But he put it in the order that unless we come to Him he stands waiting.

So here lies my struggle.

Today if I were able to be human, I would say brother help me I think I am falling, or sister please hold my hand. If I were allowed, I would cry out, someone please help me.

But instead I just close my mouth and walk away. I will live the lie one more day. I will pretend just for you that everything is ok. I have no sickness, I have no struggles, I have no pain. In turn I have no hope because I have denied my need.

Is that what God intended?